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1.
A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms and a hug.
She came forward with one foot, and then heard the sound of broken glass.
The man fell to the ground and cried and said: it’s the third piece.
Who do I provoke? Is it so difficult to take a piece of glass home? 2.
Beggar: “Sir, can you give me a few cents for a cup of coffee?” Lucky man: “why don’t you work to support yourself? I think you need more brains than money.” Beggar: “Sir, I think I want more from you.” 3.
There was a sudden power failure in the evening self-study.
I kissed the class flower.
Unexpectedly, she whispered, monitor, why are you like this? The teachers are still in the classroom.
As soon as this remark came out, I made up for the monitor’s behavior.
It turns out that the monitor who once solemnly educated everyone is also the admirer of the school flower behind his back.
Since the class flower regards me as the monitor, is he responsible for all behaviors 4.
When playing basketball, I was accidentally knocked down by the other player.
At this time, a beautiful girl rushed over, handed me a bottle of water and asked me how I was? Is the injury serious? What excites me? Is my spring coming? Sure enough, it’s good to be handsome.
It’s not over yet.
The woman then said, “you’re seriously injured.
Go down and have a rest first.
Can you change my boyfriend to play? He’s been waiting for a long time.” I…
5.
One day, the engineering man’s mobile phone rang.
It was an old classmate who was a civil servant and answered immediately.
The other end of the phone: “Hey, old classmate, I found you a project.
Do you want to do it?” The businessman was immediately excited: “what project is it to collect money?” The other end of the phone: “good collection, on-site settlement.” The businessman was ecstatic: “what project, I’ll come right away.” On the other end of the phone: “To build the Great Wall, there are three deficiencies and one…
6.
I drank too much last night.
When I woke up in the morning, my roommate said to me: I feel you are getting better and better.
I looked confused and asked her why.
My roommate said: Thank you for washing all my clothes…
I invited you to dinner in the evening.
Then…
After he had enough to eat and drink in the evening, I touched my round belly and said: in fact, I just hung it up and didn’t wash it…
7.
On wechat, my wife: “Husband, I want a bag.
Can you buy one for me?” Husband: “what bag?” Wife: “Lv.” Husband: “it’s hard to buy this? I’m afraid I can’t buy real materials!” Wife: “no! I want it!” It was a long time before my husband came back.
Wife: “husband, where’s my bag? Have you bought it?” Husband: “bought it?” Wife: “where? Why didn’t I see it?” Looking at his wife’s impatient eyes, the husband immediately took out a steamed stuffed bun from his bag, handed it to him and said, “you said it’s not good for you to eat steamed stuffed buns.
You have to eat donkey meat buns.
It’s not easy to buy this thing.
I’ve been running for a few blocks? You try it, and I don’t know whether it’s true or false…” Wife: “get out!” 8.
My colleague and yoga teacher got married.
A week later, my colleague held the wall and said that my daughter-in-law liked sports too much.
I had to run 10 kilometers with him every day.
I only ordered fruit salad when I went to dinner.
I didn’t have enough to eat.
I lost several kilograms in a week.
I didn’t know how to spend the next day.
I think it’s good.
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